(2023jun30) I just re-read this essay ~7 months after I wrote and published it, and I like it so much more now than I did at the time. I was almost frustrated with the meandering while I was doing it, but now I see it as something beautiful. It's precisely the meandering that makes it good! 🥲 much to feel and think about
2025mar24 edit: I found a draft in my notes about 'the aesthetics of earnestness', and I don't really feel like writing a whole post or even a note about it, so I figure I might as well dump it in the comments here. Earnestness doesn’t have to mean you pick up the cheery language and aesthetics often associated with earnestness. You can be grumpily disagreeable and still be earnest about it. I think earnestness to me is more about quiet persistence than fiery passion.
Where does earnestness come from? Can it be taught in a classroom? Is it learned by example? Or is it our intrinsic birthright? When I’m around children, it becomes so clear to me that each child has their own engine of personality within them. They’re fascinating to watch. I think earnestness is about being attuned with your own internal personality-engine.
> most human creativity is expended suppressing creativity
i like this framing, the dynamic seems like a parallel (or maybe even literal) expression of the predator-prey arms race that's been going on since the first prokaryotes discovered predation
predator: "how do i extract resource more efficiently from you?"
prey: "how do i avoid/resist you?"
i wouldnt be surprised if "creativity" as a thing was originally born in exactly this liminal arena, along these lines of tension. it's no wonder that we're at our most creative when chafing under limits, within boundaries, etc... i'll refrain from bringing up hell-baked
but otherwise, hell yes to earnestness. this sense of vitality, of quickness of blood, of internal mad mystical dances and of wildness of spirit is _exactly_ the most fundamental animating principle i have found
orient yourself with these flames, and you learn to live without the twists and mental contortions we grew up so dependent on
and youve got the most crucial bit down, words are important, but you have to come away with a wild vibration in the bones if you are to understand and carry the lesson
glad you published again! and I didn't mind the meandering at all; it felt like a "deeper dive" version of what could've been one of your videos in which you explore an idea. speaking of (your yt videos), I hope to see you mention that you're glad you published again! ;)
All your writing must always we about writing. This is one of the best things I have read in my life and gets me back in touch with my own core of what matters the most to me.
(2023jun30) I just re-read this essay ~7 months after I wrote and published it, and I like it so much more now than I did at the time. I was almost frustrated with the meandering while I was doing it, but now I see it as something beautiful. It's precisely the meandering that makes it good! 🥲 much to feel and think about
2025mar24 edit: I found a draft in my notes about 'the aesthetics of earnestness', and I don't really feel like writing a whole post or even a note about it, so I figure I might as well dump it in the comments here. Earnestness doesn’t have to mean you pick up the cheery language and aesthetics often associated with earnestness. You can be grumpily disagreeable and still be earnest about it. I think earnestness to me is more about quiet persistence than fiery passion.
Where does earnestness come from? Can it be taught in a classroom? Is it learned by example? Or is it our intrinsic birthright? When I’m around children, it becomes so clear to me that each child has their own engine of personality within them. They’re fascinating to watch. I think earnestness is about being attuned with your own internal personality-engine.
> most human creativity is expended suppressing creativity
i like this framing, the dynamic seems like a parallel (or maybe even literal) expression of the predator-prey arms race that's been going on since the first prokaryotes discovered predation
predator: "how do i extract resource more efficiently from you?"
prey: "how do i avoid/resist you?"
i wouldnt be surprised if "creativity" as a thing was originally born in exactly this liminal arena, along these lines of tension. it's no wonder that we're at our most creative when chafing under limits, within boundaries, etc... i'll refrain from bringing up hell-baked
but otherwise, hell yes to earnestness. this sense of vitality, of quickness of blood, of internal mad mystical dances and of wildness of spirit is _exactly_ the most fundamental animating principle i have found
orient yourself with these flames, and you learn to live without the twists and mental contortions we grew up so dependent on
and youve got the most crucial bit down, words are important, but you have to come away with a wild vibration in the bones if you are to understand and carry the lesson
glad you published again! and I didn't mind the meandering at all; it felt like a "deeper dive" version of what could've been one of your videos in which you explore an idea. speaking of (your yt videos), I hope to see you mention that you're glad you published again! ;)
Thanks Jibran! and yes I feel a great relief every time I hit publish
All your writing must always we about writing. This is one of the best things I have read in my life and gets me back in touch with my own core of what matters the most to me.
Thank you so much for writing this, made my heart melt :)
cheers Bhumika!